SilverDaddies.com is a hugely popular website for both younger and older guys that are seeking the company of an older gentleman. Particularly popular in America, it's a fairly low-fi but tried and tested and does the job - you can check out our full review of the site here.
However making your profile stand out amongst the sea of others is tricky. Considering the lower frequency of age gap relationships, as well as the one you're attracting likely being a tech savvy Instagram pro, getting found on a gay dating site for older men can be extra hard.
Fear not however, as we have put together a list of key tips specifically to help your profile stand out. We've also separately put together a guide just for your pics - as we all know the
Make a Great Silver Daddies Profile - Advice for Upping Your Gay Older Men Dating Site Game
Complete Your Profile!!
We'll start off with an easy one, but for some reason many still have blank or only partially completed profiles. When someone visits your profile and doesn't really learn anything about you, it naturally doesn't make them want to respond. When they've gone to lengths to fill out details about themselves it can seem rude when others don't, but still then demand pics and chat. They'll often just move on. An incomplete profile also makes you less findable so even if you're wanting to be discrete, just say that and use some more generic language.
Your First Impression - Have a Decent Picture
It's appreciated that you didn't grow up during a time of selfies and cameras in phones, but your pic is THE FIRST thing people look at - after all, most intros start out with 'nice pic' or similar. Lose them there and as nice as you are, you're likely not getting a response. So do yourself a favour and have a decent picture with a smile....Or at the very least, have some sort of picture (you may need to be discrete, but be aware. very few will message you without a pic).
As a general rule, you want your second best picture on a dating profile. You don't want your best, as there's nothing worse than turning up and being disappointed by what's answered the door. Taking a good picture is now a lot easier with smartphones, but there's still a lot done wrong - blurry pics, unflattering angles and lighting, strange poses, etc. It's a big topic but not one to be scared of. That's why we've made a specific guide on how to take a great profile pic for Silver Daddies - with naked and clothed options. In general the quality of people's pictures on SilverDaddies.com is very poor, so that's good news for you, as it's easy to make yourself stand out!!
Drop the Attitude
For some reason there are some seriously grumpy guys out there. Putting an angry spiel about 'tired of timewasters', 'I hate...', 'I don't know why I even bother' etc, isn't doing you any favours. Imagine how you'd talk if you met a friend's new partner. Nice, polite, potentially lightly witty. You may be lovely in real life, but obnoxious or arrogant paragraphs just make you seem rude and unapproachable. Ask yourself if you read your profile, would you message you?
While you're at it, drop the 'you don't have permission to use my pictures' piece. You're right they don't, it's basic Copyright law. However in reality there's little you can do to stop people if they really want to. Either way, adding your clause makes absolutely no difference, and just makes you come off as grumpy. So get rid and youse that space to sell yourself.
Capture keywords in your profile - Pro tip!!
You can search for specific keywords when you go hunting under 'words in profile text'. So get descriptive and include words others might be looking for. As a quick and crass example, if you're hung and proud, feel free to say so!! If you don't want to be so bold as to just wax lyrical about your member, you can always just include a little list at the end of your profile as keywords for the Silver Daddies search algorithm to pick up. You can also add keywords to your profile name, however this is best to be descriptive as it helps get rid of unrealistic prospects - Kind XL Daddy sounds great, but when they're 4,500 miles away, unless you're looking for online fun it's a pointless connection 65 Hairy Beef TX will get you less views but from better local prospects.
Your profile is a chance for people to get to know you a little more. That might be a more personal side if you're seeking a relationship, or more what you're after if you're merely seeking hookup fun. With both dating and bedroom fun however, it's all about chemistry. So even if you're not into long chats, use your profile as a way to start that connection. Be authentically yourself and it'll make people want to get to know you more.
Use Positive Language
Gay dating for older men has a lot of tribe based vernacular - daddies, twinks, smooth - hell even the site is called Silver Daddies!! However a lot of groups get marginalised in the gay hookup scene. No tas, no fems, no asians is a trio you'll have likely seen. On the Silver Daddies website you often also come across people saying no this, no that, and none of those. Such language can be very hurtful if you're part of these tribes and confronted by it everywhere you look - Imagine if you have a key tribe/attribute you identify with and saw 'no xxxx' on every other profile you came across. After a while you'd feel pretty naff.
Instead, use more positive language. Saying what you like and enjoy is a much more inclusive way to put your preferences across, and makes you sound like a nicer person. For example, 'Really into bears and heavier guys / Love asian guys / As someone that enjoys the gym, I particularly like guys that have a bit of muscle.' As opposed to 'No twinks!! / No blacks / Muscle guys only.'
Give People an Opener
As mentioned earlier, messages and chats will often start with a fairly dull 'nice pic', or sometimes the even less imaginative 'hi there, hope you're good'. We can get frustrated with these, but also not throw these guys a bone for anything else. Give some of your favourite hobbies, films, food, sports, artists, anything!! You don't have to talk with these people for hours about Game of Thrones or French cuisine, but give people an opening to strike up a conversation with. If you've got something unique or unusual this can be a great time to put it in. It makes you stand out, helps build rapport quicker, and increases your chances of seeing if there's a fit.
Similarly, when messaging someone, try to open with something from their profile. Even if it's not a passion of yours, people love to share things about themselves. You can always add a 'hey sexy' to your '[insert hobby] sounds great, I always thought it would be fun to try.'
Keep It Brief
I know, we've just talked about adding this and that and all sorts, but people won't read for hours. You've got space for a lot with Silver Daddies, but in reality you've likely got 2-4 paragraphs of people's attention. 5 absolute max.
Open a word doc, and have a few goes at writing your profile details. A bit about you, your interests, what you're seeking. Then see if you can rewrite it in a different way using different words or sentence structure - as a tip usually shorter is better.
Keep it Up to Date
Make sure to keep your information up to date. Most people write their profile and it stays the same for years. However you've likely changed in the last 4 years, so our profile should do. It should reflect who you are at the moment. We're not saying change every week, but maybe add in your new hobbies, or update what you're watching on TV, etc. Profiles that clearly haven't been updated in years come across as lazy and unappealing.
If you're a free member, add how to reach you
You only get 2 messages a day if you're a free member. However that means it's quite hard to create a back and forth connection easily. If you use the site a lot, it may be worth forking out for it, as it's not expensive vs hookup apps. If you can't afford it or you're only a casual user, adding how to reach you can help strike up a conversation more easily. email addresses are blocked, but you can find ways round the like
[username] at hot ma i l ....com .
N.B. It's always safest to engage someone through the site first, and we wouldn't recommend openly giving out any personal information like address or phone number until you can trust the person
Extra Tips to Be a Silver Daddies Pro
We've gone through how to make your Silver Daddies profile stand out from the crowd, but there are plenty of other ways to find guys on there. Here are a few:
One of the great things with Silver Daddies is that the search section is quite detailed. So use it to your advantage to find the gay guy for you! Location is a great place to start. If you're looking for a hookup, add in your sexual preferences, and make sure to filter out the blank profiles. Just as we've advised including them in your profile, use keywords to locate particular characteristics or tribes - bears, silver, daddy, intelligent, conversation, etc.
Use the Chat
You may get tired of trawling through search results after a while, so to change it up whey not hop on the chatroom? After a first failed attempt, they have relaunched the Chatroom and it's got a much better functionality to it now. It's more modern, with muuuuuch better camera functionality, and improved chat too. It can be a quick way to discover people you might miss otherwise, as well as relax and have some fun chatting and camming with other guys too. it's a friendly community so why not enjoy it?!
Add yourself to the Gallery
If you're willing to share your lovely self, the Gallery can be a great way to do so. It will feel like your pic has disappeared into the ether, but all of a sudden you'll get a barrage of messages out the blue from admiring potential dates. Though most will be admirers from afar, who doesn't like a bit of love from time to time. And you just never know who might pop up as a fan.
There you have a complete guide to a better profile on SilverDaddies.com. Hopefully it'll really help you gain some attention (from those you want attention from), or at least make your new connections start with a bit more or a bang.
x The Age Gap Guys x