Red Flags to Avoid in Gay App Profiles
Grindr, Growlr, Daddy Hunt, Scruff, Hornet, Recon, Mister X…catering for a variety of tastes and interests, the list of gay hookup apps is extensive. Whilst most men out there are simply seeking fun frolics with newfound but fleeting friends, the process of finding that guy can be fraught with danger.
To help you avoid the bad eggs and make sure your scrolling experience converts to as happy an ending as possible, we’ve put together a list of red flags to watch out for
We'll start of with an obvious one. Whether in the bio or in chats - or at any time really - there’s simply no excuse for rudeness. Sex in numerous ways is about connection and compatibility. Some won’t mind who’s at the other end of what they’re hooking up with, but being rude online most likely means they'll be rude in real life. Being a d*ck or an a**hole should be a big warning to not give them yours.
We haven't included no pics here, because many have a need to be discrete online. They may not be out, they might be in a place where sleeping with men is taboo or unsafe. However your profile text gives you space to give a little intro about yourself, or even explain your situation. If they're not forthcoming in their profile, or in their first messages, it's best to steer clear. Too often these profiles then demand info and want to meet up without giving anything out about themselves. Either they’re just wanting your nudes, trying to scam you, or are likely wasting your time.
Arguably a step back from a faceless profile. These people are often there to get pictures and responses and potentially scam people. They use photos of hot guys to attract responses from others and either try to elicit pics from people, or try to scam them. There are a few regular faces you see and will hopefully learn to recognise, but even we’ve had our followers reporting accounts that have used our photos in the past. I confronted one user online and was very quickly blocked! Avoid at all costs!
No Fats, no femmes, no asians
It doesn’t make people feel welcome when they’re confronted by signal after signal that you're not wanted. Saying a positive preference - e.g. particular penchant for ginger guys - is perfectly acceptable. When you have the option of a simple no thanks or not replying, there’s no need for actively shunning people. The world is enough of an unsafe and unwelcoming space for the lgbtq+ community, so please don't project any more bad vibes. You just come across as out of touch, overly judgemental, and potentially racist
Now this is a personal preference, as there are many out there that enjoy drugs. It’s your body and your choice. However meeting someone you don’t know for the first time to have sex whilst on drugs, is arguably a pretty unsafe position to put yourself in. I’ve had some scary stories from friends that have met people on drugs and ended up in ambulances with them, and it just doesn’t seem worth the risk.
Personally, I wouldn’t meet someone an bareback with all the diseases out there beyond HIV. If you choose to do it then totally up to you. Pressuring someone into it though is an absolute no no. It shows they don’t respect boundaries, which is a huge deal for having safe hookups.
Pressure on anything!!
Some people can get mighty pressuring online. Ultimately most people are out there to get their rocks off, so to an extent it’s inherently a fairly selfish environment. However some people just don’t realise that it’s about reciprocation and mutual enjoyment. Trying to get people to do things they don’t want to is not going to end well. Don’t let yourself be pressured. No, not even if you think they’re hot.
Anger and self deprecation
Don’t waste my time, so fed up of x. Don’t waste my time. I don’t know why I’m even on here. All statements i’m sure you’ve read. Well they hardly suggests they’re a nice, relaxed, communicative person you might want to share a bed with. There’s simply no need to be projecting these negative vibes, so best avoid.
Different pictures or old pictures
Considering that your hookup is likely largely based on physical attraction, you want to know what you’re buying before you get to the till. Photos where someone looks totally different is confusing and can make what you’ll turn up at the door to find an uncertainty.
Old or Blurry Pictures
Equally, old pictures or blurry ones can suggest something's not quite right. Whilst it could indicate a well warranted need for discretion, it's likely to indicate the owner isn't totally happy with their appearance, and are hoping that if they can get someone to their door they'll go through with the act anyway. If someone says 'i don't have any photos of me' if you ask for a clearer picture, it's a key sign of this. You're on a smartphone!! It would take 20 seconds to take a photo!
In gay sex, sometimes stuff happens. No-one intends it and it’s annoying, but it’s just an unfortunately inevitability. However yelling about cleanliness and requirements in your profile just isn’t helping anyone and puts huge pressure on those viewing the message. Better to avoid just in case. A-holes don’t get to enjoy a-holes.
'I’m Straight Acting'
Not the biggest red flag there is, but people should now realise ‘what the hell does that even mean?!?’ You love football? You can’t dance? What stereotypes are you trying to project here? It just suggests there’s a bit of internalised homophobia that could come back to bite you if you meet this person.
Lists of requirements
You will get here on time, I’ll be clean so I expect you to be, you must be shaved, you must own a refrigerator. OK so the last one maybe isn’t super accurate, but shouting an endless lists of demands just isn’t a grown up way to communicate. It's not sexy and way too intense for what should be a fun time. Save yourself some stress and pass by these profiles
There you have a pretty extensive list of things to look out for. If you're new to the gay app world, hopefully this will give you a helpful start to avoid getting yourself into all sorts of disappointing situations with disappointing people
x The Age Gap Guys x