Complete Anal Douching Technique for Gay, Bi and Straight Men - What, How To, Equipment and Top Tips
It's a huge part of preparation for anal sex, but is a topic rarely talked about, and those starting their exploration are rarely given adequate guidance on how to do it properly or safely. I am of course, talking about the D - no, not that D ... Douching of course!!
Especially for those new to douching (or as we like to all it 'getting sparkly') it can be a little intimidating, and whilst there's a lot of ways of doing it right, there are also a lot of potentially damaging mistakes you can make too.
Because of this we've created a complete guide to anal douching. To make sure it's comprehensive, it's a little long, so we've split it into 4 sections:
Complete Guide to Anal Douching: The 4 Steps
Step 1: Know your Bum - Male Anatomy Lesson - super important and covered below
Step 2: Douching Equipment Options - How to use them, pro tips, and benefits/drawbacks of each option
Step 3: Top tips for Anal Douching - Perfecting Your Craft and Getting the Most Out of Your Bum....Literally!!
Step 4: FAQs - Questions, Myths, Mistakes, we've got you covered. No question is a stupid question
What is anal douching and how is it done?
In a nutshell, douching is getting your bum ready for anal sex in a way that avoids messiness occurring when you or a partner are getting down to business. This is done by flushing out your rectum with a small amount of water. There may be instances where you want a little more of a deeper cleanse, but we'll cover that a little later
Douching is done with equipment such as a bulb douche or shower hose attachment. The best option for you will depend on a few things: Diet, natural toilet timetable, use of supplements, budget etc. You can see Part 2 for a guide to douching methods and a review of the different options. However before dashing to the store, to be able to douche effectively it's important to understand what's what anatomically.
Step 1: Know your bum - Male Anatomy Lesson
Ok, so you want to get on to some bum fun, but hold on a sec. It's really important to understand how everything words down there. Knowing your bum inside and out - so to speak - will help you to pop things up there safely and enjoyably for years to come, and let you get clean more efficiently too.
Your Anus and How to Treat it Kindly When Douching
Commonly known as your bum hole, the section is actually 2-3 inches long. It's the last section of your gastrointestinal tract, and the final gateway to freedom for your poop.
Your circular sphincter muscles around your anus contract to help keep it closed, and relax to allow you to go to the loo - or alternatively let things in.
Because relaxing for things to enter your bum isn't a natural part of your digestive system, relaxing for this to happen takes practice. This is mentioned because trying to thrust douching tools up there - especially a girthier tool like a shower attachment - can be damaging, difficult and downright painful if you're not relaxed and insert it slowly - as anyone that's ever been 'entered' too quickly will attest to.
Glands help keep your anus moist and lubricated. It's for this reason you need to make sure you don't use products that get rid of this natural lubrication. Soaps and shampoos are terrible for your insides and best to avoid in favour of water. Because your anus is usually lubricated, it's also worth dabbing a dash of lube onto whatever you're planning on putting up there to make the event easier, and less likely to damage your anus.
Your Rectum - Where the Magic Happens
The last part of your large intestine, it is the storage site for your poo before going to the loo. Internal contractions further up bring faeces into the rectum, and as it expands the nerves tell you it's time to go, and release via your anus.
The rectum about 12cm / 4.7 in long in adult men (this is good to know when considering the size of what you're planning on putting up there). Alongside it's length, considering the rectum's natural function of holding poop, it's arguably the most important part of your anatomy for douching success.
It's highly sensitive to temperature, so slightly less than lukewarm water is perfect for douching, and again no squirting shampoo up there. You don't need much water to fill 12cm, especially if there's stuff already in there. To clean your rectum it's best to use a little water a few times, rather than accidentally flood your insides, and draw down all sorts of stuff that was happily never going to bother you.
The Sigmoid Colon / Pelvic Colon - For Your Deeper Bum Dives
The final stop on our quick anatomy lesson is the Sigmoid Colon. Named for its shape and resemblance to the Greek letter Sigma (ς), it's the next section on from your rectum, and approximately 35-40cm in length.
It's role is to store poop and gas before it's ready to be passed. It's bent so they can be passed separately - basically so you don't shart every time. This is important, as knowing your bowel movements can help you understand when is a good time for you to douche - so you don't do it and then 20 mins later you have new issues to deal with. In general you don't need to worry about here being clean as most things won't be entering this area. However for more advanced anal admirals that are playing with large toys and big boys, this area may need a little attention. Again no need to overfill yourself though. Therein disaster lies.
Step 2: Choose your Weapon: Review of the Best Equipment for Anal Douching for Men
There are plenty of options for you to experiment with and find what works best for you. Most are cheap and affordable so worth the investment vs trying DIY at home inventions.
The most popular globally used, and available in all sex shops and online.
How to use a bulb douche: Get a clean sink or bowl (don't use chemicals immediately before) of slightly lower than lukewarm water, squeeze the bulb to get rid of the air. Immerse in the water and release to suck up the water into the bulb. Repeat if needed until full. Place a little lube on the nozzle and anus with your finger, insert slowly, press as much water as you can out. Don't release while inside you or it'll draw some water back in. If safe, do a jump wiggle jiggle, and sit on the loo and relax as you pass the water and any poo. Repeat a few times if needed.
Pro Tip: to avoid getting all farty, make sure no air is in the bulb by gently squeezing when holding upright and checking it's full to the brim.
Benefits: Reusable. Fairly portable - depending on size purchased. Good water control. Cheap
Drawbacks: Nozzle potentially dangerous as narrow and almost pointy on smaller versions. Takes more time to use with getting water, filling up etc.
These plastic or metal nozzles fit on the end of a shower hose and siphon water from the tap into your rectum.
How to use a shower attachment nozzle douche:
1. Replace the attachment on your shower hose with the nozzle, ensuring a tight fit.
2. Adjust the flow to a fairly low water pressure, with the temperature slightly less than lukewarm
3. Add some lube to your anus and the shower attachment.
4. Slowly insert the nozzle into your anus - you don't necessarily need to use the full length of the nozzle. Do not insert and then turn on the water as you don't know the temperature of flow and risk burning yourself or using too much water.
5. Run for a few seconds, remove. Do a jump wiggle jiggle if safe
6. On the toilet, relax and let the water and any poop naturally leave your body
7. Repeat a if necessary, but 3-5 times should be plenty.
N.B. Do not just use the end of a shower hose if you don't have a nozzle, as the metal can easily cut or damage you, and has bacteria on it that could make you ill.
N.B.2 You can find the odd ribbed and fancy shaped shower nozzle. If you want to use these for more sexual play then that's up to you, but cleaning yourself isn't the time for that fun. They're a bit pointless, so stick to the straight kind like in the picture.
Pro Tip: Over time, learn to count the right amount off time for the water you need. You can even make up a rhyme to make it fun - e.g.
"My delightful day of douching
makes me super sparkly for sex"
Benefits: Portable for holidays/travel. Reusable.
Drawbacks: Needs a shower hose. Water pressure and temperature control needed to be safe and avoid using too much. Wider than other options so may be harder to use for beginners. Lube needed
These are a brand of single use pre-packaged douches. Whilst more expensive in the long run, they're great because they are individually packaged - so hygienic - and have a prelubricated nozzle. They come in various forms so make sure to get the one with normal saline in. This is great as it helps keep the balance of your body's natural electrolytes. N.B. Do not try and make this solution yourself!! Follow the instructions to use the amount that's safe.
How to use: Follow their instructions. As an outline: Remove packaging, slide inside your anus gently - slightly wiggling side to side, squeeze to release the solution, then relax on the toilet to pass the solution and any poo in your rectum.
Benefits: Hygienic, portable, best for your body
Drawbacks: Single use. Cost. Not available everywhere, may need more than one.
Resembling a hot water bottle, this uses gravity to get a fair old whack of water up there - often about 2 litres. For day-to-day 'vanilla' sex this isn't needed. For those looking to use larger toys or have people getting more than a hand up there, this may be a more helpful option - though longer shower attachments are also available - for a deeper clean.
How to use: Follow instructions as kits may be slightly different. As a basic guide:
1. Fill Bottle with slightly less than lukewarm water. Attach the tube and nozzle, adding a little lubricant to the nozzle and your anus
2. Hang up if has a hook and a clamp on the tube, or set aside in a way that the water will not immediately flow out
3. Gently insert the nozzle about 3 inches into your rectum, and lie down on your side with your knees tucked up
4. Squeeze the water out the bottle or release the clamp for the water to flow - you may need to help it with a light squeeze if it stops.
5. Wait for the enema to take effect - usually between 2 mins and 1 hour (usually fairly quickly). Go to the toilet and pass the water and matter that comes with it. You may want to flush the loo a few times during this.
Benefits: Deeper clean for heavier play, reusable,
Drawbacks: Takes a while, less portable, bigger impact on your body
Anal Douche Equipment Ranked
It's ultimately what works best for you, however here's our final verdict on the most common anal douches:
Favourite: Bulb douche - simple, easy to use, inexpensive and portable.
Runner up: Shower douche - effective, super portable and discrete, but relies on certain shower type and can be easy to use too much water
Third Place: Fleet Enema - Best for your body, but more costly and not easily available everywhere.
Last place: Enema Bag - Best for a very deep clean, but otherwise unnecessary and time consuming
Step 3 - Hone Your Technique: Top Tips for Male Anal Douching
Some would argue that to perfect your douching technique is as much an art as a science. To help you become an absolute butt boss, here are a range of top tips for your next sparkle session
On Top of Diet, Supplements are ok, but avoid laxatives.
A healthy, balanced and fibre rich diet can help you get sparkly as quickly and easily as possible. As a pro tip: To further help your toilet time, many take Psyllium Husks as a supplement. You need to make sure you're super hydrated if you take them as they absorb water, but they can help make your poop plump and easy to pass.
Realising this gay life hack, Pure for Men has recently launched a line of supplements specifically to help you get sparkly as easily as possible. We haven't tried and tested these so can't comment on them just yet, but appear to be becoming popular in the UK
Occasionally you will hear of people using laxatives to try and flush themselves out. This. Is. A. Bad. Idea. And shall most likely end up in a very messy situation when you get down to it. Avoid at all costs.
Do the jump wiggle jiggle
A secret shared with me by a friend, it's both effective, and will make your douching experience more enjoyable by almost certainly make you laugh.
If you're able to hold the water inside you for a short time when you've put it in there, have a little jump, wiggle and giggle for a few seconds. This pro tip can help dislodge any matter that's on the walls of your rectum, for it to be flushed out when you release the water. Do note however that jumping isn't advisable if you're sparkling in the shower, as slippery showers and baths put you in danger of a fall. You may still be able to hold onto the shower screen and enjoy a little bum dance though.
And yes, the first time you try it you will feel ridiculous.
Avoid Shampoo and Soap
Definitely don't put it inside you. It can be tempting to think well "it washes my hair so can wash in there". However the ingredients and chemicals in shampoos and soaps can dry out and irritate your anus and rectum, distorting your electrolyte balance and increasing the likelihood of tears and other injuries during sexy time. Stick to water, it does the job just fine.
That said, feel free to give your bum's exterior a little lather. Who doesn't love spearminty freshness when they head down there?
Give yourself time
Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither can you get sparkly in 2 mins. Give yourself the time you need and don't rush if it can be avoided - it'll likely lead to accidents if you scamper through it too fast.
Pro tip:After you've expelled the water that's naturally there, give yourself 30 mins. You may find a little extra water and mucus has found it's way to the bottom of your anus and is ready for releasing. A quick check in before doing the deed can be a life saver in avoiding mood spoiling moments in the bedroom.
Don't push too hard. Just Relaaaaaxxxxx
If you've got a date scheduled for your bottom, it can be tempting to try and get things done in a hurry. Trying to force water out of your bum can be really bad for you, with the pressure you put on your anus potentially resulting in haemorrhoids and anal fissures.
Whilst most people get haemorrhoids at some point in your life and they can be treated, it can definitely ruin your plans. As you get to know your body and how douching works for you, ensure you plan enough time to do things right. The experience will be much more relaxing and reduce the risk of accidents from not sparkling correctly.
Go Goldilocks on the Temperature - Not Too Hot, Not Too Cold
You may be able to stand hot or cold showers, but your bum insides can't. Your rectum is particularly sensitive to hot water, way more-so than your skin. Just under lukewarm is the perfect water temperature for douching. Super cold and your muscles may tighten up and you can find it hard to pass easily. You've heard of brain freeze, well this is butt freeze.
Lube it up before sticking it
You put lube on fingers and toys before they go up there, so the same should be done for your equipment. Failing to do so and going in dry can damage your anus and cause tears and bleeding - also increasing potential transmission of STIs. This can be particularly true for newbies that aren't as used to relaxing their muscles down there, or when using a shower attachment or larger bulb
Use the right water
Our bodies have a lot going on inside them. Using tap water is generally fine, though if you are douching every day, over time you'll gradually knock off your body's natural electrolyte levels and create a chemical imbalance. This is where the Fleet saline douches can be useful, to make sure you keep the health of your bottom and body in tip top shape.
Don't be so Scared of Poop
It's not an 'omg everyone's totally doing it vibe. We literally all do it.
Just as new parents get thrust into the eye of the storm by having to change nappies, so does any guy that want's to try putting things up their butt.
I'm not saying love it, I'm not saying you have to like it. But over time just try to realise that poo is not the worst thing in the world, and you don't need to be totally grossed out by dealing with it....You're the one that made it after all.
Location, location, location
This one should really go without saying, but make sure you're in a bathroom either by the toilet or in the shower to douche....and make sure you've locked the door!! There are too many stories of men walked in on by partners, friends and relatives whilst getting themselves sparkly. It's a normal thing to do, but it makes for a mighty awkward moment with Aunt Mildred.
Douching FAQs: Dispelling Douching Myths
No question is silly when it comes to douching. It's an area barely ever talked about and it's super important if you want to avoid any messy situations during sex. So here we're covered a few commonly questioned areas around how to douche.
How to douche fast?
The fastest way to douche is by knowing your body intimately. Over time you'll understand how your diet and daily bowel routine impacts your time needed to get sparkly and ready for anal sex. Though it's not always predictable what's going to happen - we all have off days - it's the most effective way of being able to douche quickly. Simply turning on the shower hose full blast will likely end in bad results, and could be damaging to your precious bottom. You've only got one, so treat it well and give it the time it needs for you to feel at your bottoming best.
How to douche perfectly?
Note that the title of this article was not 'perfect anal douching technique'. That's because unfortunately there's no way to get anal douching right every time.
As you start to know your body better you can become more confident in your preparation routines, but unfortunatley ... shit happens.
If it does indeed happen, one thing to note is it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just part of how it goes, and unfortunately can happen more easily when you're new to anal douching. Being shamed for it by someone is absolutely not ok. You've done what you can and unfortunately it didn't work out this time. The world keeps turning and you can have sex later or another day. No biggie.
To Make Douching Easier, Should I Avoid Eating?
Absolutely not. You may learn what foods affect your bowel movements more or less, and consequently make for an easier or trickier douching experiences - it's why bottoms avoid burritos.
Your body needs food and nutrients to function properly, so depriving it of that is simply bad for you. Learning how your body works and using proper douching technique and you'll be just fine for your Friday night bum fun.
Is Douching Safe?
Douching is generally safe. However it can depend on how you do it and how often. With improper technique and products you can potentially damage your rectal tissue and anus. Some have suggested this can lead to higher rates of infection of STIs and HIV, so be careful and do it right. See xxxx for our tips for different techniques
Can I do DIY douching?
Unless you're in a hospital for a medical reason, it's likely you're doing it yourself. How you douche DIY is a big thing. Using squeezy bottles or other contraptions are definitely not advised. Not being designed for this important task, they can damage your body, introduce bacteria, and simply not do the job well. Douching equipment isn't expensive and is now widely available - and can be bought online if you're nervous about going into a shop. So don't be a cheap skate and fork up the ten dollars for a douche bulb. Your bum - and your sexual partners - will be forever grateful.
Is Douching Necessary for Anal Sex?
Your digestive system is pretty spectacular for many reasons. One of which being your rectum is good at keeping pop higher up in your system until it's time to go. As such
It should be noted that not all advocate for anal cleansing for homosexual sex due to the removal of bacteria and irritation that can occur. Some suggest merely proper diet, timing your sexual activities after bowel movements and a quick shower. It is rare, but some suggest just not worrying about the mess. You can decide for yourself the approach you wish to take. This guide however has been written due to the popularised practice of anal douching for gay men, particularly to aid those that are new to anal sex and unsure of how to get themselves clean.
How Much Water Should I Use to Douche?
A douche bulb gives you a good guide to how much water to use. Remember your rectum is only about 12cm long, so that doesn't need much water before for a clean.
If you are planning on playing with a big boy, using larger toys, or are a kinkster getting someone's hand or arm up there, you are likely to want a deeper clean. There are trade tools to help with this. It should be noted however that a lot of the same rules still apply. Your body is full of good bacteria that helps you digest food, stave off infections etc, and getting rid of that and potentially irritating your body with soaps etc can be harmful. If you're new to sex this is likely an area to steer clear of for a while. there are a lot of other areas to explore in order to be able to do this safely, but this isn't the blog for it.
If you've missed the info on your anatomy, it's worth recapping to understand how your bum works and what areas you need to clean and how.
If you've made it all the way to the end - amazing!!! Be proud of your self as your willingness to learn will pay dividends for the rest of your life. We really hope you found it useful. This was written because douching and the potential (and reality) of mess was incredibly stressful when starting out, and a lot that I've chatted to wished there had been more helpful and friendly advice out there. So please share and send to people, get the word out there and talk about it,
x The Age Gap Guys x