Updated: Jan 15
Let me tell you from personal experience, dating an older man can be great. Naturally bringing some unique circumstances, Intergenerational / age gap / Young-old relationships - whatever you want to call them - offer some unique benefits for the younger partner.
So here's some of the major perks you might experience* from dating an older man.
Great Things From Dating an Older Man
They're a Good Communicator
Through a mixture of work and social life, an older partner has likely gathered the skills to be a good communicator. They understand their emotions, what’s important to them, how to articular them, and are less afraid of being honest about that. Communication is the bedrock of any successful relationship so this can be a big plus point.
Some people may not like the idea of their partner with someone else, but in reality - sorry to break it to you - an older guy has likely had a fair amount of sex before they were with you. But don't worry, that's a good thing! The benefit is they’ve had plenty of time to 'hone their craft' so to speak. This means better sex for you!! Now go have some (safe) fun ; )
Deeper Knowledge and Better Discussions
Having grown up in a different time an older partner can have different opinions and perspectives to share. Having built up experience on various areas of life over the years, their knowledge and contrasting opinion to yours can stimulate interesting debate and fact sharing. Queue lovely long nights with your older boyfriend just chatting about anything and everything.
The wonderful result of being in different life stages is that you can enjoy each other's success without any 'competitiveness' or comparison. More so, each person can bring new ideas to the other and expand their world - e.g. younger teaching the older about social media, the older showing great older films, etc. This leads to shared enjoyment of each others' successes. Hooray for all!!
Mentoring and Guidance
A major benefit that consistently crops up for both the older and younger partner in a relationship is the concept of guidance. Many younger people in age gap relationships seek out and really enjoy the mentoring and learning opportunities that an older partner can offer. Similarly many older partners cite their satisfaction of passing on advice and helping nurture and guide their boyfriend as a major draw to a younger partner.
They're More Settled in Their Social Life
Being older, they’ve been through the friends that naturally come and go as you pass through University, into the working world and into your first flat share in your 20s. This has left them with the important ones, the ones that matter. This means less drama and more fun and meaningful times with your partner's 'extended family'. With at least some likely being older too, they can platonically offer lots of the same benefits as your guy can.
Their Life is Stable
Someone a bit older is more likely to be in a position of stability in their life. They’ve formulated their career path - or may even be nearing the end. Whether renting or owning they’re likely to have a solid living arrangement, and (children or not) their family is most likely in a more solid state.
Moving home, change of job, having children all rank as top stressors for people to deal with, so not having these to deal with twice over can ease pressures on a relationship with an older man.
They Accept You For You
As you get older you realise, unfortunately, that not everything and everyone is super perfect. I know, sucks right?
The good thing is that an older partner is more likely to appreciate you for you. They may be less likely to worry as much if you put on a bit of weight, aren't always dressed immaculately or sometimes feel a little low. On the flip side, make sure you're as accepting of them too, and it'll be a big help in having a loving and happy partnership.
They've Got a Handle on Their Bank Balance
An older man is likely to have more of a handle on their finances. They've learned about tax and mortgages, when to spend and save - especially if they have their own place. Because of this you're less likely to run into big troubles that can happen from splurging without thinking, or crazy nights out. Not only can they teach you about some of what they've learned, but they can help you get into good habits yourself.
He Can Get on Great With Your Parents
An older partner being close or closer in age to your parents mean they may well share a lot of interests. My partner (Jeremy) being 4 years older than my dad means they have a lot of the same interests! Fave films, music, cultural references, etc. It can help them get along great, and ease any tensions over the age gap you might be worried about.
They've Got Great Patients With You
Many older people I’ve spoken to say they have become calmer as they've grow older. A result of this is that older men are less likely to sweat the small stuff and be bothered by the little things. That's not to say you should be lazy about doing the washing up, but you're less likely to have big bust-ups if you do from time to time. Just make sure it's a two way street and you're as forgiving too.
He's Not Going to Flake On You
Having likely dated a few folks, a mature man will likely know what they want from a partner. If they've decided they want to be with you (hooray!) they're likely to commit emotionally and invest in your relationship. That means less ghosting and uncertainty, and a willingness to make things work.
They'll Keep to Their Word on Social Events
Similarly, they've less likely to flake on social situations and will commit (or not) up front. Granted, knowing themselves and what they enjoy a little more they may be more likely to say 'I don't want to do that' in the first place. However in the age of 'oh something better's come up last minute' flakiness this up front honesty is a great asset.
Not Having to Share Living Space
As mentioned, being older they may own or rent their own place. Part of this is that they may be doing this alone. The nice part of this is less tiptoeing around randomers that you don't really care about when you stay over.
As you can see, loads of reasons that dating and older man can be a great and wondrous thing. I'll not deny that some hold a little stigma against inter generational relationships, but love is love and other people should never be the ones to stop you following your heart. So if you find yourself with a crush o an older guy, go for it!!
The Age Gap Guys x
* N.B. Just to note, none of these are guaranteed, as everyone regardless of age is different and in a unique position. These thoughts have been taken as a generalisation from my experience of dating a man over twice my age, talking to friends and others in age gap relationships, and discussing with others in online forums.
Being fair and balanced, for the other side of the coin to see our post on the potential drawbacks of dating an older man.